In a bizarre turn of events that has left park-goers flabbergasted, local eccentric John Cocktostan was spotted in the middle of Central Park yesterday, stark naked, having what appeared to be a heart-to-heart with a flock of pigeons! Witnesses report that the 42-year-old self-proclaimed ‘Bird Whisperer’ was not only baring it all but also cooing sweet nothings to his feathered friends, seemingly unaware of the stunned crowd snapping pics and videos faster than you can say ‘feather fetish.’ One onlooker claimed, ‘He was asking them for dating advice! I swear I heard him say, “Should I swipe right on Tina from the deli?”’
Rumor has it, John believes pigeons are the ultimate wingmen—pun absolutely intended—and insists they’ve been giving him life tips for years. ‘They’re better than any therapist,’ he allegedly squawked to a bystander before offering a pigeon a crumb from his... well, let’s just say his ‘personal stash.’ Park officials were left scratching their heads, unsure whether to issue a citation for public indecency or nominate him for ‘Bird Person of the Year.’
So, is John Cocktostan a misunderstood genius or just a guy with too much time on his hands and too little on his body? Stay tuned to FunnyPetVideos.net for exclusive footage of this coo-razy encounter! Remember, folks, keep your pants on—unless you’re chatting up pigeons, apparently!
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